Mental Health

My “Snap Dragon”

We all have them moments where we snap for no reason don’t we? Well for me it is every time I don’t want to do anything or go anywhere or feel uncomfortable.

Some days i just want to sit and do absoultely nothing, and by nothing I mean just sit there and not do anything not even think, this can fustrate some people as they say “what you have done nothing? Surely you have done something?” Well the answer is “no I havent “. I havent made a cup of coffee, had any cigs, I havent even gone to the toilet useless I have been desparate and can not hold it in any longer.

I can getting snappy when someone has interupted my nothingness, and end up “biting peoples heads off” for no reason what so ever, I call this my “Snap Dragon” because i will do it most of the time without realising i am doing it and other times when i get annoyed because someone is in my face (my son comes to mind on that one).

My partner also gets the “Snap Dragon” too and he ends up snapping back which just esculates in to a heated discussion most of the time!! and then we end up not talking for a few hours sometimes it can be days and I end up apologising to him for it. Which he says he is now use to it, which then makes me feel gulity about it all. (Even though 9 times out of 10 I am the one who snapped first!!). My partner has said afew times “I wonder which personility I am going to get today?” because of all the different moods I am in.

My “Snap Dragon” seems to come out more when my over thinking starts, and instead of me talking about it I end up listening to the thoughts going through my head, and I end up snapping because I can not get out what I am thinking, and when there is a long pause from me, because I am thinking of how to say what is going on they end up ending the call or not talking to me, which makes things worse and makes me more snappy.

I also can get the wrong impression most of the time when someone is talking to me because of their tone of voice and then my “Snap Dragon” comes out and I get “Did you even listen to what I said?”. I find controlling my snappyiness is hard to control most of the time, sometimes i have to bite my tongue, so I don’t say whatever comes into my head because I know it would cause a lot of arguements.

I also get snappy when I struggle to do something that I am unsure of or I am in the middle of something and get disturbed, (I have now learnt to do what I need either when I am on my own, or at a time I know I wont get disturbed), but I will also go quiet and will be inclined to ask for help thinking that they would think less of me.

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