4th week of July

I used this week to recharge myself.

I really did not do much this week as I had a super busy week last week. I did think alot about the direction of my life and if I was happy with what I was doing with myself and what I want to do for the future.

As I was thinking and recharging I came across something on the internet that was like a sign almost to say that I am on the right path and I am exactly were I am suppose to be and doing what I am suppose to be doing. So this was a big relief for me. I have also sort turned myself off from everyone and just focusing on my self and my thought and feelings about everything and everyone in my life. I have stopped messaging or ringing people because I have come to the conclusion that why should `i always be the one to message first or ring first. I know a few people have tried to ring me but I have been at college or busy doing college stuff and genuinely forgot to ring them back and when I have remembered it has been to late to ring them back. then I forget the next day because I just get on with whatever tasks I have set myself and some days I still do not want to do anything and will have a lazy day and do not want to talk to anyone on these days.

I really do not have time to be dealing with everyone at the minute and that I am just quite happy doing my own thing and enjoying my own company. The weird thing about this, is I do not feel bad about it. As I see everyone has what they want to do with their day and everyone has their own things to deal with and yes I will be there for those I consider close to me but until that moment I am just happy with a text every now and then and meet up every once in a while but other than that unless an emergency then I am happy as I am.

Yes I am been selfish but I have had to deal with a lot over the few years with my mental health and other personal things that have happened, I am using this time to balance myself and do what the hell I want to and I am not going to be made to feel guilty for it. My kids are grown up and getting on with their lives, my friends are getting on with their lives, so I am now getting on with mine and doing what is best for me and no one else.

Just a short one this week.

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