The last 6 months

Has been a journey and a half with my mental health.

As you all know from reading my blogs I have been on a roller coaster of a ride with my mental health and I hit rock bottom which when I look back at my life from leaving school was gonna happen sooner or later in my life and in a way I am glad it happened when it did, why?

The reason for this is because, I have alays put other before myself, my kids, husband at the time, foster kids, other peoples kids and looking after them and doing everything around all that, and when I removed myself from all that and keeping myself busy to then moving away and starting a fresh everything started to creep in.

I let everything consume me and I let everything that had happened to me get the better of me and I was question everything including who I was.

I felt I had no purpose anymore and that I was just been a burden on everyone because of what was happening to me, I locked myself away, I stopped takling to those that matter to me the most, and most of all I pushed them away.

I have had to mend a lot of bridges and also plucked up the courage to talk to these people that matter the most about all these demons that were effecting my day to day life and why I was the way I was, which was a very hard and emtional roller coaster to do, some still do not understand and others are like so what I am still here regardless.

Every day I am thankful that I am alive and still able to now enjoy the little things and I do not plan and I do not make any committments if it is going to effect my mental state, the reason for this is I have a rountine and when I have tried to come away from that my mind starts to go into panic mode and I shut off.

At the end of everyday I think of all the positive things that have happened that day instead of all the things I have not done, and this has helped me alot.

I am taking everything one day at a time.

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